A simple coaching question to re-set perspective

Lately I’ve been thinking about how it’s usually much easier to see things clearly when it’s someone else’s situation, not your own.

When a friend or colleague tells you what they’re grappling with, you can often spot the pattern straight away. You can see where they’re overthinking, or where they’ve already answered their own question but don’t quite trust it yet.

But when it’s your own situation, that same clarity tends to vanish. You get too close to the details. You start doubting yourself, or thinking about all the ripple effects. You go back and forth, until what would be obvious for anyone else becomes a bit of a fog.

I notice this in coaching quite often. When someone’s really stuck, I sometimes ask them, “If our roles were reversed, what would you advise me?” or “What would you tell a friend in the same situation?”

Almost always, they know. They just haven’t thought to say it to themselves yet.

We all have blind spots. Sometimes the simplest reset is to imagine the advice you’d give someone else.

Until next week, take care of yourself and others

Madeleine

I help accomplished professionals untangle difficult career questions so they can thrive in work and life.

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