Trust and Relationships

Trust is the invisible infrastructure of every team, every partnership, every organisation. Yet most leaders treat it as something that either exists or doesn't - a feeling, a vibe, an accident of chemistry.

In practice, trust is built and destroyed through specific, observable behaviours: what you say out loud, what you prioritise, what you're willing to name when it would be easier not to. In professional services especially, many senior people have built careers as trusted advisors - credible, reliable, sharp - but find that the trust required to lead demands something different: warmth, vulnerability, the willingness to stop demonstrating your own value and start enabling others'.

These posts explore what trust actually requires, how it breaks down, and what to do when you're working across a values divide.

Trust isn't built by accident, and it rarely breaks by accident either. If you're leading a team where trust is fragile, fractured, or never properly established, I can help you diagnose what's really going on and build it deliberately. 

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We can’t go on together with suspicious minds
We can’t go on together with suspicious minds

If, as a leader, you allow suspicion to become your default, you are not doing yourself, your team or your organisation any favours. Instead, most of the time, start with curiosity. Here’s why…

Working with someone whose values clash with yours? Start here
Working with someone whose values clash with yours? Start here

You don’t need to agree on everything to build trust.
But when values diverge – deeply – it takes more than surface civility to collaborate well. Here are five things I’ve seen work.

What actually builds trust?
What actually builds trust?

Being trusted as a leader takes more than good intent or credibility. Inside teams, trust is shaped by how you show up, what you prioritise, and what you are willing to say out loud, even when it feels uncomfortable.

Trusted advisor or trusted leader?
Trusted advisor or trusted leader?

Many senior professionals - especially lawyers - take pride in being a trusted advisor. But when you step into a leadership role, the equation shifts. You’re not just valued for your judgment. You’re relied on for your presence, clarity, and ability to bring others with you.

Build trust before you need it
Build trust before you need it

If you find yourself facing a high-stakes situation without trust in each other, it’s like entering a freeway before you’ve mastered the basics of driving. The results can be predictably chaotic. Investing time in building trust is not just about improving current dynamics but ensuring you have that safety net when you most need it.

3 ways leading your team is like teaching your teenager to drive
3 ways leading your team is like teaching your teenager to drive

My daughter’s first driving lessons got me thinking about the parallels in leadership: trust, boundaries and stretching outside the comfort zone.

How do you balance compassion and accountability? You don’t…
How do you balance compassion and accountability? You don’t…

I often hear clients ask how to balance driving accountability in their teams while remaining true to their value of treating people well.

Here’s why that’s the wrong question…

Are You an Accidental Cult Leader?
Are You an Accidental Cult Leader?

Some leadership practices verge on the culty…. see if you’re doing any of these!

Ten things your team hates about you
Ten things your team hates about you

Don’t be a hater-maker… here’s 10 leadership pitfalls to avoid.

Why it’s not always good news when you get on easily with your team
Why it’s not always good news when you get on easily with your team

It can be challenging to lead people who have very different personalities from your own, but it's not impossible. Easy rapport is great at a cocktail party but not necessarily at work.

Trust isn't built by accident, and it rarely breaks by accident either. If you're leading a team where trust is fragile, fractured, or never properly established, I can help you diagnose what's really going on and build it deliberately. 

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