Notes from Paris: 5 ways to keep your cool when someone is angry at you

Last week I finished up a fantastic 8 weeks of intensive French lessons at LSI Paris. It was such a treat, with dedicated, friendly teachers and such an interesting, diverse cohort of students from all around the world. The course itself was 24 hours/week plus study time. It was a lot, but my French progressed dramatically (from a low starting point, to be clear!). Having the structure of classes 5 days each week was also a good way to feel settled into Parisian life.

Today I start a new course at the Alliance Francaise: French through theatrical techniques. I'm so excited for this one! I think it will be a great way to lift my clunky, textbooky French and dreadful grammar into something a little more embodied and fluid. That's the hope, anyway. Plus it's only 9 hours/week so I can use my new free time to check off some more of the touristy things in my last few weeks here.

Next week, tourist updates! But for now, enjoy this article...

From now until I return from sabbatical on the 7th April, I wanted to continue sharing the ideas that clients most often return to - the ones that spark reflection, shift perspective, and help make work a little more human.

This week’s topic is: 5 ways to keep your cool when someone is angry at you

Recently I wrote about how to set boundaries when your stakeholders won’t listen. Many people came back and asked me how to handle it when someone is very angry about it when you have to tell them “no”.

Sometimes pushing back can be particularly challenging when a stakeholder is angry and/or powerful. It requires a delicate balance between maintaining the relationship and respecting your own limits. So, let’s explore some strategies that you can use to push back effectively in these difficult situations so you can stay calm and composed to maintain control of the situation and find a solution that works for everyone.

One of the most effective ways to stay calm in the face of an angry response is to focus on your breathing. Take a few deep breaths before responding to the stakeholder, and try to maintain slow and steady breathing throughout the conversation. This can help to reduce feelings of stress and anxiety and keep you grounded in the present moment.

Another useful technique is to practice active listening. When the stakeholder is speaking, listen carefully to their words and pay attention to their body language. Try to understand their perspective and show empathy for their concerns. By doing so, you can help to de-escalate the situation and find common ground.

It's also important to stay focused on the issue at hand. Don't allow yourself to be drawn into personal attacks or emotional arguments. Instead, keep the conversation focused on the specific request or issue that is being discussed.

In addition, try to maintain a positive and solution-focused mindset. Rather than dwelling on the problem, focus on finding a solution that works for everyone. Be open to creative solutions and willing to explore alternatives that may not have been considered before.

Finally, it can be helpful to take a break if necessary. If the situation becomes particularly heated or emotional, it may be useful to take a brief (or longer!) pause to collect your thoughts and emotions. This can help to prevent the conversation from spiraling out of control and allow you both to approach the situation with a clear head.

Until next week, au revoir

Madeleine

PS I’m back on deck from 7 April. If you’d like to book in coaching or a workshop ready for then, simply email Nicole here or phone her on (02) 8005 1604.

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