Not the place for you

When I was 24, between finishing uni and starting work as a lawyer, I took a gap year to go travelling. I spent a few months in Dublin and London, taking temp admin assistant work to pay my way.

Generally, it was great. The employers were delighted to have someone with good spelling and a strong work ethic to help out for the days/weeks they needed, and I was happy to have some paid work that didn’t require me to give it a moment’s thought when I’d clocked off for the day. In fact, more often than not I was offered a proper job (the much sought-after “temp to perm”) – which I politely declined; too much exploring still to do!

There was, however, one exception. In one of the roles, I couldn’t seem to do anything right. I filed things wrong. I answered the phone wrong. My documents were wrong. After just a few days I felt like merely having a physical existence in that place, taking up space, meant I was doing something wrong that would generate sighs, eye rolls, and exaggeratedly patient explanations of what I was supposed to be doing if I weren’t such a patent idiot.

Now, it’s possible that I had suddenly lost all the skills and abilities that had served me so well in every other temp role I had and was genuinely messing up. Or that somehow, that place required magical unicorn skills that were simply beyond my ken.

What’s more likely, though, is this: that just wasn’t the place for me. I was never going to succeed there. There was something going on in that system that was making it impossible to do well, or even adequately, in their eyes. So, the best thing I could do was get out of there, and into an environment where my work and contributions were appreciated, and where I could thrive.

Why am I sharing this story? Because the lesson has always stayed with me… my thriving in an environment is partly down to me, and also a whole lot to do with the environment. Even today, so many of us are slugging away in environments that are not the places for us.

I see it in clients, and the worst part is when they begin to believe they are 100% of the problem. Sure, there’s often things we need to learn and adjust in order to succeed in new environments. But look at the pattern evidence. If you’ve thrived everywhere in the past, and suddenly are not – is it you? Maybe… and maybe not.  

If you’re somewhere you can never truly succeed, and you have the option to leave (and in the context of a senior leadership role, you almost certainly do have the option) GET. OUT. Get into an environment where you can be yourself, thrive and make a contribution that will be appreciated. Seriously. Life is too short and you don’t owe your best years to those people overlooking you and all you can do.

Know someone who’s slugging it out in a place that’s not for them? Share this with them. And if it’s you and you’d like some help getting clear on your next steps, get in touch.

Until next week,

Madeleine

I help accomplished professionals untangle difficult career questions so they can thrive in work and life.

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