Five things I wish I’d known as a young lawyer

When I walked into a major law firm as a brand-new graduate in the late 90s, I genuinely had no idea what I was stepping into. I was the first in my family to work somewhere like that. I didn’t have older siblings, cousins or family friends who could quietly explain “how it really works” behind the shiny glass doors.

And, crucially, I didn’t realise that this world required strategy. I thought it was like school and uni. You show up, do the tasks you’re given, do them well, hand them in on time. I truly thought that was the whole job.

I did what so many first-generation professionals do: worked hard, tried to be perfect, watched for clues, and hoped no one would notice how much I didn’t understand about the unwritten rules.

If I could sit down with that earnest graduate now, here are the five things I wish I could tell her.

1. Learn the system, not just the law

Back then, I didn’t even realise there was a system. I thought the only thing I needed to get the hang of was the law itself.

But big firms run on a complex web of structures, incentives, economics and human dynamics that no one explains upfront. Matters flow in particular ways. Billing cycles matter. Some people hold influence that doesn’t match their title. Work originates from places that aren’t in any org chart.

Success wasn’t just about being a good junior lawyer. It was about understanding the ecosystem:

• Who makes decisions

• How partners think

• What clients value

• How informal networks operate

• Where risk truly sits

Had I understood this sooner, I would have worked out that “just doing your tasks well” is only one small part of the picture.

2. You can and should ask for help... but be culturally attuned

I used to worry about asking questions. I thought it made me look dumb, so I tried to power through problems alone. Which, in fact, was the dumb thing. But in law firms, the context is nuanced:

• Asking no questions is a red flag, and

• Asking too many questions is culturally frowned on.

The juniors who do well aren’t the ones who pepper seniors with every thought that crosses their mind or ask questions they could figure out themselves with 5 minutes of effort. They’re the ones who think first, frame a targeted question, get clarity early, and then deliver precisely what’s needed without unnecessary debate.

If I’d understood that, I would have seen “help-seeking” as part of an effective strategy... which, at the time, I didn’t even realise I needed.

3. The work is important, but it’s not the whole job

Because my reference points were school and university, I unconsciously believed that technical excellence was the entire game. In those environments, the people who topped the class did well because their work was the best.

But law firms are businesses, not classrooms.

Partners were also assessing how I communicated, how I responded under pressure, how I operated in ambiguity, and whether I made their lives easier. I was still thinking like a diligent student, not yet like a professional in a commercial environment.

It took me a long time to understand that the job was bigger, and different – very, very different - from what I’d trained for.

4. Relationships matter, even if they start organically

My relationships developed naturally with the people I liked, most of whom remain close friends today. That part was wonderful and grounding.

But I didn’t realise that there was a broader, strategic dimension to relationships. I honestly didn’t even know what a “network” was, let alone that people built one deliberately.

So while I formed deep friendships, I also missed opportunities to connect more widely with future clients, future leaders, people who would later hold roles across the profession. Not because I didn’t care, but because I didn’t understand that relationships were part of the work, not just a social by-product.

This wasn’t about “networking” in the extractive sense. It was about understanding that the people around me would play a role in the next 20-30 years of my career. I simply didn’t know to think that far ahead.

5. Wellbeing isn’t about toughness, it’s about understanding yourself and the environment

I wasn’t the stereotypical junior who worked until 2 am without question. I often asked about deadlines (politely!) and didn’t assume everything was urgently due that day. Sensible, but in the late 90s it was countercultural, and it probably didn’t help me.

What I didn’t yet understand was how the environment interacted with my own nervous system. Even though I wasn’t overworking wildly, I still burnt out twice. Not from dramatic hours, but from the cumulative pressure: perfectionism, constant vigilance, the emotional load and the absence of real recovery.

I thought burnout only happened to people who pushed too hard. I didn’t realise it can happen even when you’re doing everything “sensibly”, just without the internal or external scaffolding to stay well over time.

If you're a young lawyer reading this now…

Know that you’re not meant to understand all of this on day one. You’re learning the law and the culture and the profession, all at the same time. And you’re doing it in an environment where strategy matters as much as effort.

Give yourself some compassion as you navigate it.

And if you’re a senior lawyer leading younger colleagues: say the quiet parts out loud. Many of us learned these lessons by accident; the next generation shouldn’t have to.

Until next week,

Madeleine

PS If you’d like me to work with you as you navigate the “quiet parts” of your profession and organisation, let me know and please share with anyone you think may benefit.

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