3 steps to solving the hustle v happiness problem
Many of my clients come to me because they find themselves at a career crossroads. They can see the brightly lit road to (more) success at work ahead of them. They know what would be required to get there. And they find themselves, often to their surprise and bewilderment, unwilling to follow it.
Often, this is because they believe that what is required to succeed at work will take them away from that other path. You know, the shaded, harder-to-find, overgrown one back there, wending off in a different direction. The one that leads to a deep sense of peace and fulfilment.
Often, they will tell me they want to find the resilience to forge ahead down the career highway, despite those deep-seated misgivings about what it will mean. The tough-guy, hustle-culture mantras of our working culture glorify this approach.
But when we believe that sacrificing health, relationships and wellbeing is what is required for “success”, is it any wonder that we hesitate?
Giving up on the career highway and heading down that other track isn’t the right approach for many people, though. If you’re lucky enough to be in a career that draws on your strengths, provides financial stability and has an impact on the world in a way that is meaningful to you, giving that up is not necessarily going to be the clear winner.
Rather than work through which path to take, I prefer to interrogate the whole assumption that it is a choice between one and the other.
Yes, in any given moment you may need to choose between work and not-work. Here’s the thing, though:
“Work” v “not-work” is NOT the same as “success” v “wellbeing”
Many people have spent so long (years, decades) believing success at work means sacrificing their health, relationships and joy that they don’t believe anything else is possible. That can change. So, we work together to help them
Understand what is driving their choices each day, particularly where those choices prioritise work tasks over health, fun, relationships etc,
Reconnect powerfully to their deeper needs for happiness and fulfilment, and
Bring the two out of conflict and into alignment.
When people feel strongly connected to their deeper personal drivers, an interesting phenomenon occurs.
Not only do they find prioritising their own needs easier, they actually start doing better at work. Rather than feeling wracked with guilt for choosing the family dinner – or equally wracked with guilt for skipping it to get work done - they make their choice and feel peace about it. All the energy that used to go into holding the two forces at bay is now freed up. Paradoxically, the resulting sense of calm and self assurance tends to garner respect at work.
Rather than two paths diverging, it’s more like one road with two lanes. You can switch between lanes whenever you like, and still end up where you want to be – satisfied. Right?
See you next week,
Madeleine
PS. Want to work with me as you take control of your time and priorities? Let me know. Send me a message to enquire, and please share with anyone you think may benefit.
I help accomplished professionals untangle difficult career questions so they can thrive in work and life.
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