If I’m not performing, who am I? Identity, values and leading without the mask

As roles become more complex and expectations more diffuse, the metrics of success grow murky. Status signals are less clear. The feedback loops are slower. It’s easy to lose your bearings.

For senior leaders, ambiguity is not the exception - it’s the default setting.

In this context, many leaders unconsciously fall back on performance. They project certainty. They speak in polished, pre-approved lines. They become adept at reading the room - at showing others what they want to see.

But this kind of surface alignment often comes at a cost. In my work with senior leaders, one of the most consistent sources of stress is not workload or scrutiny - it’s disconnection… the quiet, cumulative toll of saying all the right things while privately questioning your own direction. Of performing well, but feeling off-track.

What helps? Well, when leaders reconnect deeply with what matters most to them - beyond role, beyond reputation - they report a kind of relief. Their energy stops going into impression management. Their decisions get easier, not because the stakes are lower, but because the criteria are clearer. They have a true north. They become more spacious in their thinking, more consistent in how they show up, and more resilient under pressure. It’s a stabilising force.

And paradoxically, that’s often when their leadership becomes more powerful: not because they are trying harder, but because they are leading from a place of coherence and congruence rather than performance and fear.

A question to consider:
If you weren’t performing, what would you be standing for?

Until next week, take care of yourself and others

Madeleine

I help accomplished professionals untangle difficult career questions so they can thrive in work and life.

1. Want to find out more? Send me a note and let me know.

2. Feeling unfulfilled, overworked or unclear about what next? Work with me to identify what is holding you back and make a plan for more powerfully and enjoyably pursuing goals that matter to you. Contact me to find out more.

3. Join my list to receive regular articles and insights, early news about programs and offers, and respect for your inbox.

4. Follow me on LinkedIn to stay connected.

5. Prefer to talk? Choose a time and it will drop right into my schedule.

Click below to share this on your socials…