Write your not-to-do list

In a survey I ran back in 2018 I asked people “What would be one thing I could give you, apart from money, that would make a massive positive impact on your life?”

While there was a wide range of creative answers, one came through as far and away the most common: more time.

I have been hearing the same wish from friends and clients more frequently lately.

As we emerge from the unmoored, vertiginous year that was 2020 and re-create our schedules and life rhythms to meet the demands of 2021, I thought it would be worthwhile revisiting a great life tip that I came across a few years back:

When doing your “to-do” list, include a “not-to-do” list.

If you did an audit on where your time, energy and focus goes across the course of a week, I am confident you could find at least 3 things to stop doing that would give you some time and/or headspace back for the things that are more important to you.

Are you saying yes to things out of a sense of obligation or a desire to be helpful or worthy? That’s great! But as with anything, it can go too far. If you are saying yes to the extent that you are sick, overloaded, stressed out and unable to contribute effectively, it is counterproductive. Saying a mindful “no” in advance is more helpful than an eventual de facto no when your “yes” was ill advised.

It can be difficult, because the dominant messaging we so often receive is that more, more, more is always better.

Here’s my not-to-do list for the coming week:

  • Don’t look at social media for more than 10 minutes each morning and night

  • Don’t do exercise other than gentle walking (thanks, wonky back)

  • Don’t drink caffeine after 2.00 pm

Some other examples might be:

  • Don’t sign up for that extra committee

  • No checking your work messages after 6.00 pm

  • Don’t go to bed late

  • Stop proof reading your sent emails

  • Don’t attend that pointless meeting

  • No more finishing your team member’s work for them

  • Don’t say yes to that project you really don’t want to do

  • Stop worrying about what the neighbours think of your lawn

  • Stop worrying about your neighbour’s lawn

What about you – what are your not-to-dos?

Until next week,

Take care of yourself and others
Madeleine

Ps If you’d like to work with me in a coaching program to develop your leadership confidence, I’d love to hear from you. Send me a message to enquire and please share with anyone you think may benefit.

I work with clients from executive leadership teams to the front line, helping them to make clearer decisions about what they want, and adapt faster and more easily to change and transition. I use deep purpose as a key to unlock powerful thriving in work and life.

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Madeleine Shaw