How to cope with anxiety after making a mistake at work
So… You’ve had an incident at work you feel embarrassed about – maybe you weren’t paying attention, or you accidentally deleted some data, or you forgot to do something entirely. You may be feeling anxious about the consequences of this mistake, and worried that your performance or reputation will suffer as a result. Here are some tips on how to ease anxiety when you've made a mistake at work.
1. Focus on how you can fix it
For many people, admitting they've made a mistake is incredibly difficult. But mistakes happen, and learning how to deal with them is key. First, consider the impacts of the error. Is it something you're acutely aware of, but that no-one else will be impacted by or even notice? If so, move straight to step 2. If it does need addressing, get clear on exactly what that means. It can help to write it down rather than spin it around in your mind.
You might find that working through the questions I set out in this article will help bring your worries into a realistic perspective.
If you can't fix it, ask for help. Don't go it alone. The sooner you own up to your error, talk about what happened, and figure out a solution, the better off you'll be. Not only will your coworkers respect your honesty—they'll also know that you're human (and not afraid of making mistakes).
By focusing on fixing what went wrong, taking responsibility for your actions, and moving forward in a positive way , you may even find that self-confidence becomes easier than ever before.
2. Stop beating yourself up
It’s normal to feel bad after making a mistake. The problem comes when you get stuck in that bad feeling in a way that is unhelpful or even outright destructive.
Shame is feeling bad about who we are, which is different from feeing guilt over something we’ve done.
If you’ve made an error at work, even a big one, and are feeling ashamed about it, it’s time for self-forgiveness. That doesn't mean pretending the mistake doesn't matter, but rather remembering that having made a mistake doesn't make you a bad or unworthy person.
Psychologist Brene Brown, author of Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms The Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead (2016), notes that shame, which she defines as “an intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging” is part of an inner critic spiral that affects people in negative ways.
Brown says we can end our internal shaming patterns by recognising when we feel ashamed and then turning towards ourselves instead of away from ourselves, which leads to defensiveness or withdrawal. Reminding yourself "I am worthy of love even though I messed up" is one way to start down a path of self-forgiveness.
3. Accept that everyone makes mistakes
No one likes it when they are the one who has messed up, but it’s important to accept that everyone makes mistakes and you are no exception. It can help to keep in mind that while everyone makes mistakes, not everyone accepts them or deals with them as well as they could. Be gentle on yourself. Breathe and know that you will learn from your slip-up and be better prepared next time around.
4. Take care of yourself physically and mentally
If you’re feeling anxious about your mistake, get extra sleep, fresh air, and spend time with people (or animals!) who love you. During this period of relaxation, focus on being kinder to yourself and practicing self-acceptance. Doing so will help you be more emotionally resilient during whatever comes next.
These strategies are useful not only when you’re feeling anxious about your mistakes, but also in general. The benefits of getting rest and spending time in nature include improved mood, reduced inflammation, and better thinking—all of which may help you think more clearly if you’ve made a mistake or help stop small mistakes from turning into bigger ones.
If you’re being harsh on yourself, try talking to yourself as you would talk to a friend or family member who had made a similar mistake. You might ask, Would I say that directly to someone else? . Or, imagine that your best friend is facing what you are—and notice how it feels to offer comfort and reassurance from a compassionate place.
As always, if you find anxiety after a mistake is causing difficulties for you and these strategies aren’t helping, consider talking to your GP or qualified mental health professional. Help really helps.
Until next week,
Take care of yourself and others
Madeleine
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