False Binaries Keep You Stuck

We humans love to think in binaries. That can cause problems.

We love to think that things are either

  • right or wrong

  • good or bad

  • easy or hard.

These mental shortcuts run as subconscious programming, and they keep us stuck because in fact very few things are truly binary.

Mostly, there's nuance and shades of grey.

I hear this come out in people that I'm working with all the time because they'll say things like:

“Well, either I stay here in the corporate job that I hate, or I chuck in all the safety and security that I know to go and follow my heart.”

“Either I look after my family, or I go and do what I really want to do and have a career.”

“Either I express myself at work and risk losing my job, or I stay hidden away.”

Sometimes these are clear cut either/or's, but most of the time we're assuming that they are - and then we don't take the time to explore the nuance.

There's all sorts of creative ways that you can play in the nuance to find a solution that's really going to work for you. Maybe it really is a case of “either you stay in the corporate job that you hate, or you quit and go and live in a mountain hut somewhere”. Sure. But in between there's almost certainly a whole range of ways that you can explore adapting the way that you're living your life so that it's more in tune with what really lights you up.

Binary

That fear that listening to your inner calling is going to mean throwing away everything that's valuable and secure in your current life, is in fact exactly what keeps you stuck. So many people I talk with are very unhappy. They know that they could light up if they pursued things that were more meaningful to them, but they pull back from doing it because they're worried that their whole life is going to completely blow up if they listen to that inner voice.

I'm here to tell you that you do not need to make a whole lot of specific changes in order to be happy. What you need is to turn on and connect to that part in side of you that knows what's right for you, instead of neglecting it and ignoring it.

When you've tuned in and connected to that part, then you can begin to make very small shifts and decisions in your life that ripple outwards in a way that's very, very positive and beneficial to you.

For some people that is dramatic change, but for most people it isn't. It's just the inner sense of fulfillment that comes from operating in alignment with your deeper values, rather than trying to push them away and do what you think you need to do to stay secure.

So next time you find yourself thinking in binaries, just explore that.

  • Where are the shades of grey here?

  • Where's the nuance?

  • Where's the in-between?

  • Where's the creative option?

Because I promise you, that in 99.99% of cases, the nuance is there. And when you find it, then this whole universe of possibilities begins to open up for you.

Let’s talk about how I can help you make a positive change.

Madeleine Shaw