Authenticity through a transition
There’s something I come across quite often when coaching, and that is people who have been very high performers, and relatively effortlessly. They work hard, of course - but the high performance just seems to flow. Then they go through some sort of a transition - such as a new role, new organisation, a step up in leadership, retirement - and they become a little lost. We all experience something of a dip after we transition as we learn the lay of the land. The problem is when that dip becomes prolonged, or worse, becomes a bit of a downward spiral.
The person begins throwing good energy after bad, trying to figure out what it is that's going to help them to start having that high, effortless impact again. After a while, they're flailing around trying to figure out what is going to work … and not finding it. This becomes very disconcerting and dispiriting for people. They are struggling in quicksand. So: what to do?
What's often going on beneath the surface is a tension between authenticity and agility.
We want to be authentic, to be ourselves. We do a lot of work at understanding who we are, what are our strengths, how can we bring our real self to work and connect authentically with other people and those we lead?
And we also need to be agile, finding the part of our authentic self that's going to meet the needs of the situation at the time.
What often happens when people are struggling as a result of a transition is that their new situation simply doesn’t overlap with their current authentic repertoire. When this happens, people tend to do one of two things:
They flip completely outside their authentic self to try and fit in with what they think is required. That's a very short-term game because it's exhausting. People smell it. It doesn't really work well nor last very long.
They hunker down in their authentic self and say, "Well, I shouldn't have to not be myself. I shouldn't have to do X, Y, Z if that's what it takes to succeed here” and they end up failing, or leaving, or both.
(Side note: Leaving can be the right decision in some circumstances. For example, if you've joined a new organisation that's truly not a match for your values, it’s likely that the better thing to do is leave and find somewhere that you can flourish.)
People get stuck in a binary: either flip completely over to do what's required or hunker down here and not meet the needs of the situation.
What I encourage people to do is to explore that continuum that sits between those two binary options.
Exploring how to extend your authentic self so it can meet the new demands means retaining your authenticity at its core and being willing to change.
What are some behaviours that you can try and experiment with in a relatively low stakes way, that rather than flip you outside who you really are, might instead expand your repertoire?
For example, if you tend to be directive, do you experiment with going to a meeting and just asking questions?
Or if you tend to be quiet in meetings, do you challenge yourself to speak up more?
If you are typically guarded, could you experiment with a little more disclosure?
If you are typically an open book, do you need to practice keeping some information to yourself?
Finding small ways to experiment with changes in your behaviour that may feel inauthentic now but that can become authentic to you and meet the needs of the situation, is going to be sustainable and effective in a way that neither of those two binary options will.
If this is you, you've probably recognised straight away that feeling like you're struggling in quicksand after a change of some kind. Or if you're a leader in your organisation, or you're responsible for people and talent, you can probably immediately name 10 people that this might apply to. If you'd like to find out more about this scenario, what's going on and what we can do about it, please get in touch.
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